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What I Really Want Is...But I Am Just Too Full Of...

We start our journey into this world without a ‘how to’ manual. What are we ‘supposed to’ want out of life, or ‘supposed to’ do with this life? These questions get answered in the form of social input from adults around us. We perceive these answers in our most formative years. We learn through observation of other people to create ideals, and perspectives about life, as well as the things we will want in life. We learn the things that are ‘good’ or ‘bad’ to want in life. We forget sometimes to remember that the people we have observed in those early years of life, were also not equipped with a ‘how to manual’ for life. These adults (parents, teachers, pastors, etc…) are also trying to figure out this life while they act it out in front of us as kids, and try to teach us ‘right vs. wrong’.


Yet, we go through a big chunk of our life without awareness of this ironic setup of life. Most of us are not taught to question what we are having modeled for us, or deliberately taught to us by these adults. Many people wander through life on auto-pilot, chasing after things in life that they observed their role models chasing after. They do not know why they are chasing after these things, or if it is something that they really even want for themselves. There is so much ‘I should’ in our internal dialogue of what they want in this life. This has led to a world full of people feeling frustrated, unfulfilled, disillusioned, but STUFFED FULL of so much that they ‘should’ want in life. So many people feel like their life is already too full, and yet they are starving for something deeper. -But what is that thing that I really want? -Why do I keep filling up on other things in life that leave me feeling stuffed, but starving? -Why am I so afraid to want what I really want? These are the questions that I hear so many people facing for themselves. These are the questions that I faced for myself as I journeyed through this life. I found myself in my adult years of life, chasing after so many things. I found myself looking at my life, and feeling STUFFED FULL of so many of these THINGS that I was chasing after, but still feeling like I was starving for something deeper. I set out on a mission to find what those deeper desires were.


I found myself starting to wake up to the things that I truly wanted in life, but finding myself too stuffed full of substitutes and distractions to know how to ask for what I really wanted from this life. I knew I could not be the only one feeling this way. I knew I was not the only one struggling, wanting to feel like I using this life to fulfill my true desires. I wanted to stop feeling like life using me to fulfill everyone else’s true desires in life, while I stayed in this perpetual state of overstuffed and bloated, but starving for life. I wanted a solution. I wanted to be able to show up in this life, and know what I TRULY wanted, and to be able to go get it, without distractions or substitutes. This is my story of learning to see, and go after what I REALLY wanted in this life, when I was just to full of… My hope is that you find inspiration, and your inner voice through this story. I want every reader of this book to finish this reading experience with hope, and excitement that you too can start seeing what it is that you are REALLY wanting in this life and to start making it your most authentic and fulfilling life. No more substitutes and distractions. It is time to finally fill up on the REAL thing!